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Old junk Guestbook About me Naked? *
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- 20:16 Monday, Oct. 11, 2004 Is there five food groups? I was reading my last entry and realized it sounded kind of weird. haha. I'm such an ass. HMM...I can't figure it out but I've been feeling pretty bummed lately. I know that there's nothing wrong, but for some reason I can't get myself to do anything. When I hang out with people, I have nothing to talk about. I don't enjoy my life the way I should because there's a lot out there to explore and I haven't been able to get my bum up to do it. Is that supposed to be how depression is? I don't think I have all the symptoms. I eat pretty regularly...there's still things that can make me happy...I don't cry myself to sleep or anything. In fact, I haven't cried for a long time. DANG I BET THAT'S WHAT I NEED. I need to see me a chickflick! Or watch some Dou Yu. Crap that stuff makes me feel fuzzy inside. Well, I haven't gotten super excited about things lately...besides having beat all the songs on the DDR that Daryl lent me in standard mode. That was a toughy and I was super happy when I beat the last of the Paranoias. I totally ran around and leaped for joy, but after that..I was back to -_- I feel so gloomy ever since last week. I have nothing to say to people. I remember going through this before. I hope it's not happening again because it causes your social life to turn into a pile of dung. GAH. How lame-o. I gotta cheer myself up because that's the only way to go. I mean like..learn to cheer up. Because people can cheer you up, but it's only if you let them. :] And oh yeah..got my senior portrait today. I look weird. And I have Frau hair. hahaha. - 19:48 Saturday, Oct. 09, 2004 HM...went to sleep at like 1am. Woke up at 6:30. Thought about going back to sleep but realizing that this is important, I managed to crawl out of bed. I ate my four food groups for breakfast..I think. haha. Well I dunno but it seemed pretty balanced to me. Then I went to Blair and got to my classroom, etc. WELL..while the proctor was talking, MY NOSE STARTED BLEEDING. My sister has the same problem. Apparently, vitamin E makes your nose bleed, because I took one before I left the house and it just started bleeding while the guy was talking for no reason. Luckily the girl behind me was really nice and she gave me a tissue :] I took my SAT1 test and stuff..hopefully the score will be better this time. It sucked because I had to pee really bad after a while and I was in the middle of the first part of the test. haha. As soon as he gave us a break I went to look for the restroom ASAP. Why the heck are there so many math sections? Gash. HmM..after I finished I had to wait for a really long time for my mom to get there and then I got home and felt dead. SATs are draining. I didn't feel like doing anything so I stayed home and ate lunch and then my brother wanted to go buy pants so my mom and I went with him. He's such a little priss sometimes. It pisses me off so much. He hasn't learned how to appreciate things yet. My sister hasn't really either..Gah. The two of them. ARGH. My older brother can be a lot nicer..when he feels like it. Geebus my siblings are like so spoiled. I just wanted to sock my little brother because he starts complaining every time something doesn't go his way. Every day he hogs my computer and stares at these chucks on the Foot Action website and when I tell him to get off, he gets all pissed at me. It's the same freakin shoes every day, they're not going to disappear in like 20 minutes. Man I wish he'd pick up on manners. I'm surprised he didn't lock himself in his room and start crying. Argh. My family members have such bad tempers, including me. It's hard to not get so mad. I just want to beat him up, but I wouldn't do that to anyone unless it's completely necessary. >:] On a lighter note, I OFFICIALLY CLEARED EVERY SONG ON THE ORIGINAL MIX OF DDR!! I'm so happy. hahaha. I'm still not like super good or anything because I passed the Paranoias with Ds but STILL, I cleared them. haha. I got such a freakin' workout today. My legs were so tired. I hope this helps me lose weight. I can already feel some of my pants loosening. haha. :] This week turned around a lot. haha. Tuesday was so craptacular. All these odd things happened and it made me so ughhh. My rejection. And I really couldn't understand calculus but I finally tried to get help on Friday and I caught up on my assignments. haha. THANKS SIMRAK :D And other peeps ;] Cough. haha. HMM..so yeah..all this bad stuff happened on Tuesday and then Wednesday one of our FISH DIED :[!! Poor Bob. And then another fish incident. OoWee not a good week for fish. Thanks everyone for helping to cheer me up. Especially Howard's split personalities. haha. Oh and I loved the trade thingy in Econ on Thursday. HEHEHE. A few people will know why. Why, yes, of course, it was because I got a pack of jerky... o_O? haha. Speaking of which, it was so good that I had to buy some myself from the ASB window. :P'' I dunno a bunch of stuff happened to make me feel better. You just have to want to feel better in order for it to take place. Funny stuff like cripple walking and Tamsonite...small things like that. And niceness from someone you've been trying to talk to since forever ^_~ WeE. Bye friends. - 23:20 Sunday, Oct. 03, 2004 I keep feeling tired. That means I really need to go out and exercise. OR I can play DDR like mad, because Daryl lent it to me today. WOoT. I worked on my cd mirror for a little bit. I did another row today. So far I've used 20 cds. It's those ones that AOL sends in the mail like every week. Somehow a bunch of my cds disappeared, so I really don't have as many as I thought. I dunno how many more I have. Hopefully enough to make the mirror long enough. Maybe one day when I buy my own permanent home, I'll fill up a whole wall with them. Crazy huh? Well, what else am I supposed to do when they send this stuff to me? Anyway, then Daryl came and we watched Big Fish! It's so good. I learned a few more fish words today. hahaha. URRRR! I hope it'll help my conversing skills. After the movie, my brother wanted to go out for dinner, so we took Daryl along to Chili's and I had the QUESADILLA EXPLOSION! hahaha. I can't help but check out the food with weird names. Things never fail when they have cool names. For example, NUDELAUFLAUF! How could you even NOT want to order that? While waiting for a table, we were talking about how I should approach the fish and remembering that guy at the Alte Pinothek [whatever it's called] in Munchen who had that crazy evil laugh. It was so freakin' hilarious. hahaha. hRM...I feel like such a bum. I need to start being more productive. I'm gonna do my homework now. - 02:32 Saturday, Oct. 02, 2004 haha..failed. WELL, we won Spirit Week for the first time everrrrr! That's so great. haha. Especially since the sophomore and freshman classes are each like double the size of our class. The day has felt sooooooooo long. I went to school early [yesterday] in the morning to check out the poster, but it wasn't hung yet, so I guess not. And it was a day of senior pride, I guess. I think about a half of our class showed up, which is really good compared to all those other years. We got to ROCK ON with our special shirts :] So sexy. hehe. Speaking of sexy, my dear friend, ALLISON CHANG, has made it into the second round of the Rose Court tryouts! :] That's so freakin' cool and great and all those other awesome words that are better than good. I'm so proud of her and I know if she makes queen she'll find some way to put me into her speech :] haha it's ok if she doesn't though...but you know, it'd be nice. :P Thursday was Club Day and Lisa was the model for our club. hahah. It's this club that Henry Wong started and it's about cars, so if anyone is interested..^_^ I walked around with her to find people to give flyers to, but most of the people she didn't want in the club, didn't think were good looking enough, or didn't have cars. haha. I was hoping to hand a flyer to you-know-who-but-many-of-you-don't-really, but I was too scared so I just looked from afar. Oh well. The signups were a success, I think, because there's so much rice out there trying to get a piece of the action and that kind of sucks, but oh well. We were stationed next to this weirdarse club. The people scared me so freakin' much. It wasn't really them who scared me, it was the one standing with the poster. I dunno...maybe she thought modeling in front of it would attract people but I was scared ishless by the way she did it. After school I cheeled with peeps and did more poster work, but in the middle of it, Wendy, Hayley and Pei Pei picked me up to look at Hayley's dresses and I decided on this old skool looking one that looks like...50s-ish. So tonight [yesterday now] was the Royal Ball for the Rose Court tryout participant peoples. I did my hair as soon as I finished eating lunch which was around 2. I just walked around the rest of the day with curlers in my hair and it's a freakin biotch to take them out...Anyways, went to Wendy's to get ready at 4:45ish or so, but we were really just sitting around and chatting and I was looking through the yearbook. Eventually we got around to make-up and hair and whatever. It was fun. I like..destroyed Wendy's bathroom. hahaha. My junk is all over the counter. I think the funnest part was just getting ready and us beautifying ourselves. haha. When you look different from usual, people always compliment you, and I guess this raises my confidence for the day. haha. I think the only part I really like about dances is the dress and feeling slightly pretty. hahah. But anywho, ate my nachos as we went to the convention center place in Pasadena. Tony was an awesomeness date, even though I was a crap one. Sorry again >_< I had fun in my own way, but I guess that's the lame way. I really didn't like having to like crawl through people. But the dance was pretty cool and it was of no cost to us or anything so it's all good. Thank you everyone for trying to get me to dance. Sorry it didn't really work. I'll try to practice. haha. And thank you Wendy for doing the eyeliner. I accidentally smeared it at some point during the night so it looked like I had bags under my eyes but no one had the heart to tell me, I guess. hahaha. Thank you HayleyWong for lending me the dress. Thank you Tracy for buying me nachos. You are my savior :] Thank you Wendy again for letting me tear up your bathroom and room floor in order to get ready. And thank you Tony again for taking me and being so cool :] After the ball, we went to BJs and sat for a while. I seemed to have a change of heart and suddenly felt super super lame so I just sat and then my tum hurt and I didn't feel like socializing anymore. Then I went home and my mom was kind of mad. I showered and showers make me feel like I can clean away problems so that was great. OH and Pei Pei was like giving me advice and saying that I have to meet _____ near the beginning of the year because it's like senior year and maybe I'll never see that person again. SO...I wanna try. Mehehe. Anywho, I need to sleep I'm effing tired. PS McCreadies loved our poster! [They were featured in it.] Night friends. - 23:42 Monday, Sept. 27, 2004 Ha..so like I was sitting and doing my calculus homework in the middle of the night and my window was open and all and I hear this loud train noise and it brought me back to old times back in SG, where I'd sit and talk on the phone and we'd hear the same train going by. It was..really cool. And that kind of..brings back memories and feelings. I love the sound of the train. I felt kind of sad about it but then...you can't live in the past. If it was a good memory, then it was a good memory. There's no point in feeling sad about a happy time just because there are some changes being made. haha. I just have to go a bit slow and be cautious so I don't crap up again. hehe. I'm like sort of weary right now, but..I'm lovin' it, like they say at McDonalds. To be able to have the strength to get through this stuff will make it worth all the more. WeE. - 22:22 Sunday, Sept. 26, 2004 Hmm..how much time is spent thinking about that guy or girl that you are obsessed with? How much time do you spend looking at different clothes and thinking about which ones you'd get laughed at for wearing? How often do you buy something because you think other people will think it's "cool"? How often do you feel depressed because you feel lonely and think that you need a special someone to fill the void in your lusty heart? How many times a day do your eyes wander for potential boy-/girlfriends? A soulmate even? Do you think people ever grow out of thinking about these things? Is there really a point in lusting after others? What if marriage is just based on the level of tolerance you have for a person? Dang, I should be the next Jadakiss huH? I sure am good at asking annoying questions. I still haven't asked why Jenny is as hard as it gets. Well, anyway, this [not Jenny being as hard as it gets. i mean the questions.] is kind of how I feel and kind of what annoys me about other people. When you like someone, you like to blind yourself of their flaws. In your mind, they are perfect. This is where you freakin' lose. Their flaws surface and then you start getting annoyed and then all is kaputt. So that whole emotional investment was a friggin' bust and you're back on your butt and looking for new potential. Look what hormones do to a person. haha. And TV, of course. But..I dunno. That's what we have to live with. Just try not to live with regret. Maybe you didn't do that ONE THING, but you did something else instead and that's what you decided on, so don't live in the past and mope around about it. Also, I wish people could learn some patience. Love isn't the person who can stay with you 24/7, it's something that involves patience and strength. It's something you know even if a person is far away. But our wandering eyes are too selfish and impatient to remember that. - 18:08 Saturday, Sept. 25, 2004 HONESTLY..it's time to move on. There isn't really a way around it in the future. I've been wanting to do this since forever but I always go back. WELL, I'm not going to do that anymore. Wahaha. Today was funnn. I went with Susan, Allison, Ashley, Tammy, Margo and Dianna to the Rose Court tryouts and we met up with Wendorz there. It was pretty cool. As soon as you step up in front of the judges your mind goes blank. haha. I hate it. But it was so fun..like the experience and stuffs. We got lost on the way, as usual. Tammy went off the wrong ramp and then we went the right way but the freeway split and we couldn't go across. Then we kept going on all these streets and stuff and we ended up parking at a..special church. haha. When you look around you at the tryouts you like..make fun of people who are too overdressed or underdressed and then you see the really pretty people and you think to yourself, That biyatch..gonna make court. hahah. But it's cool. I didn't go there thinking I'd get to the next round. I just wanted to get my tickets and leave. I said something really lame and I felt pretty dumb about it afterwards but it was a cool experience. And we get to take pics :] haha. Wee. The funniest thing that happened to me was when I took someone's drink. hahahaha. That's sick. I thought that was the table where drinks were being given to people. Oh well, I don't think anyone drank out of it. I'll just keep telling myself that. The house it was at was soooo nice. The walls are friggin pure concrete. The house used to be owned by the Wrigleys. COOL HUH. haha. Anyway, took a tour of the house and stuff. The front door weighs 400 pounds! Hmm..that was kind of it. After that we went to Tammy's house [but stopped for jamba first] and she lent out dresses for the ball next Friday :] It'll be great. ALLISON'S B-DAY! haha. Fun day. - 17:53 Friday, Sept. 24, 2004 This is how our warm-up goes: "Da May Nee Poh Too La Bay" like a billion times and then "Do Mi Re Fa Sol Ti La...ok I can't remember that one" and then "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma....Pa pa pa pa pa pa...." and then a series of "Doo doot doo doot doo dooo doo be doo be doo be doo be doo...." ending with "fa la la la fa la la la," all of the syllables corresponding with notes, of course, otherwise it'd be kind of weird. I'm starting to really like women's chorus, because I've always wanted to be able to sing in front of other people and I stand next to this girl who is like tone deaf so I don't really feel as bad. hahaha. Who knows, maybe I'm tone deaf too, but I doubt I am as much as she is...I don't really like her too much. Freakin' freshmen who try to be gangster and hard and ish. Geez piss me off. I could beat her down with a pencil. But of course I wouldn't do that ^_~ Anyways, haha, my class is relatively happy, even with the occasional annoying little girl. I am a loner in that class, but it's ok, I don't thrive on trying to be social everywhere I go. This is the time where I learn to sing :] Though a couple other people near me are pretty nice, so it's cool. I stand in the back row of the altos section, because people in there are pretty short. I think being there teaches you about your abilities and helps you improve. I love that :] Obviously, I need more work. haha. Cool class, yup. HUM, well I really don't like calculus. I feel so lost and we haven't even gone through one chapter yet. I dislike math so much. I'd rather do arithmetic than this crap. I don't get it. ARGH. That's like the only class I don't like being in. It's the only class where I keep looking at the clock to see what time we get out of it. All my other FOUR classes are cool. haha. Women's chorus, as I already mentioned, is pretty bomb. German...uh...Nazi Frau. hahah well she's pretty nice to me most of the time. I guess I understand why she gets mad. I'd be effin' pissed too. But yeah..a bunch of people were late on Wednesday schedule, including me, so we had to go up individually and make a speech in German about why we were late. I didn't really care that much, but I try to be on time, because punctuality is good and I want to improve. haha. English is pretty cool because my table is pretty awesome. I'm the only girl at the table. Mad pimpin'. haha. jk..gross. hahaha. Kidding again. I get along with them so it's cool. .....Honors Econ is soooooo fun. I feel way dumb in there but I love it because it's so interesting and Mrs. McCreadie is so into it. And plus *looks out from corner of my eye* :x Well, there's cool people in there too. LIKE HALETAMYFRIEND and of course my twim and Everlyn and Grant and a bunch of others :] I like to look across the room and make faces at Tony and Haleta. It just adds to the fun. OH and doooood. TODAY..Grant gave me a LIVESTRONG band. OMGGGg I was so happy. hahah. I totally missed out on them when I went to China and I was like confuzzled when I saw people wearing them when I came home. And today he totally gave me one!! Maybe it'll make me bike faster. hahaha jk, I don't even bike..maybe this is a calling for me to start. hahaha. Anywho, I love what it stands for, what it's being sold for, everything. Lance Armstrong is a nifty person. AND SO IS GRANT :D I was like so excited and when I sat down in Econ after getting it, I was like, OMG ALBERT LOOK HOW COOL OUR BANDS ARE! because Grant gave him one too. haha. Hope I didn't scare him. Well, another weekend it is, but it'll be a cool weekend. Maybe I'll talk about it tomorrow :] and maybe post pics. It'll be excitement fosho. <back<-->fwd> 5 most recent entries: I'm a thought criminal - Tuesday, Aug. 21, 2007 Moving away again! - Friday, Oct. 27, 2006 My reaction to Flavor of Love - Saturday, Oct. 21, 2006 Late night confusion! - Friday, Oct. 20, 2006 Bill and the couple drama across the quad - Wednesday, Oct. 18, 2006 |
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